I had this journey of re-calibrating, which took me from all this tight tension in my throat and jaw, and closed backdoors to my heart and aching shoulders, to letting the one who thinks she can resist, to give it her all, which led to humor and hilarity and to accepting the trickster and the the mind, and allowing them all to be there.
Then all the crazy magic happened. “Wanting” showed up. I was trying to shut that out because I had this belief that if I “want” then I’ll be in wanting forever and I’ll never receive. But when I let want just want, it turned into a fire ball of passion in my chest. Which felt incredibly awesome. My throat connected with my gut. And I became a lake. An embodiment of a lake.
A mysterious creature came alive in the deep dark bottom of the lake. In my womb. And then I became aware of a tunnel from my root to my throat. The creature was blowing bubbles and breath up the tunnel. And like a fish, it was gulping upwards toward my chest. Then the tunnel was just gone. It was just openness. It was the most awesome feeling, because it was like I wasn’t in my body anymore, but I totally was. I was very aware of still being in my body, but my body had no complaints or restrictions or boundaries, no fears, and I had this heightened awareness of life.
I was multi-dimensionally aware of life going on everywhere all at once. And it was so cool. It was in Italy and Mexico and Colorado all at once. And I’m just making up those places, because it was really being everywhere. And it was so fun. There was a detachment and a supreme connection at the same time.
Superbly, mildly, profoundly and subtly blissful. Present.
And in a way, too it was like: No. Big. Deal. Of course it’s this way!! And it’s nothing that I can’t handle and it’s nothing that’s going to exterminate me. And then, as the energy culminated even more, I just became a taught rubber band vibrating in space. It extended from my root up to infinity. And I was just floating. So easy. So freaking free. So supported. So endless. And there was no division between that heightened experience and being fully awake and aware laying on the table. There was no waking up from a deep hypnotic state. Or coming down from an induced high. It was just like:: Cool. I’m here. And I take this high state with me. Because it’s what I am.
At the end of the session, I felt so perfectly energized and clear. So healthy and awake. So alive and present. So myself. So free.